6/13/08

It's women's fault!

This is a "conversation" I had two weeks ago. In fact I'd rather call it not a monologue, but it was more like some sort a unilateral declaration or statement. I get sick whenever I recall it. I was soooo astonished I could not react. Not with words. 

There was a concert in a park. It was sunny, warm and good, and people were summer dressed. Light clothes, swimming suits, capulanas, you see the picture... People sun bathing, chilling and grilling... Having a good time.

I was having a conversation with a friend, when somebody else (a person who could be my father) interfered; and my friend left in a very discreet way. So, there was I, listening to this bava, and I mean Bava, at least considering his age.
 
And it goes more or less like this:

- I tell you, these Norwegians, look at them! The way they dress man, eish!
-...
- I tell you! Look at them, especially the women.
- I understand that not everyone accepts it...

- Phela if it was in South Africa! Heeeee!... You know, phela the other day I met this old man. He is from Ghana. A really old man. He was upset!
- ... 
- I'm telling you! He was upset, I met him in the tram. When I greeted  him, heh, he was so angry! He started telling me, this is what we are talking about. This man has been living here in Norway for long. The white women in this country! That is why there are so many cases of Africans raping Norwegian women, because you see, they can't resist! They are not used to it. You see, this is an old man saying, so, you can imagine yourself, a young man, seeing all this. You see! And then they go around and say that African men this or that! It is their fault! 

- ... (By then my eyes were two big balls almost falling from their place. Could not believe what I was hearing. From an almost stranger. Wanted to hear more. I had to hear more. For once.)

- So you see, you, phela in South Africa, that is why, there was this woman who had a mini skirt. Then the taxi drivers, they helped her, they took off her skirt and... hmmhmm. they let her go just like that! Because, you see, this is what I am talking about. She wasn't dressed. Phela we are Africans!
- ... -I started crying in my heart, but I wanted to hear more. (And he definitely doesn't know that I know about these incidents, and the taxi drivers don't just undress the Women. They rape them as well. Gang rape. What is the difference anyway? Raping is raping)

- I have to say, you are quite different, you let me talk although we may not agree, you see, many people are not like this at all.

I call upon all my Mothers and Sisters to give me strenght.  All I wanted to ask this man was if he could think that a woman, each and every woman had the right to love and dress or even undress her own body.

I wanted to ask him if he had ever thought that NO MAN had and has the right to touch a woman without her consent. 

I wanted to ask him if he didn't have a Mother, a Sister a Daughter... 

I turned and left with my tears.


7 comments:

  1. I would tel this Bava: In my Africa a man your age would be ashamed to speak about this things to one of his daughters.

    A man your age would cry that something like this would happen to his daughters.

    A man your age would be outraged that men instead of protecting, attack their sisters.

    But that is my Africa, I don't know what Africa you come from.

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  2. I do not know what Afrika he comes from, my SIster. I wish I could say he's from my imagination...
    The most amazing is his age. What did he learn through life?

    But my soul cries for the way we are raped and mistreated is exactly the way our Mother Africa is treated.

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  3. Amélia, se não escreve um pouco tb em português, vai ver o sururu que alguns aqui farão...Brinco docemente. Já abri uma postagem para si. Bom fim-de-semana.

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  4. Professor Serra,
    por um lado quero tanto que os amigos sobretudo em Moçambique acompanhem a minha odisseia pelas terras do frio, e por outro quero tanto que os "donos da terra" acompanhem oque vivo, penso e sonho na sua terra.
    Há por cá muita fala sobre a "integracão", mas quando um/a Africano/a passa 4 anos para encontrar um emprego que nao seja o das limpezas... há qualquer coisa que não está muito bem, penso.

    É preciso que o leão comece a contar a sua história... Para que o caçador eventualmente também a conheça... (docemente falando, claro).

    De todas as formas se me conheço bem, é verdade que no meio de tanto ingles aparecerão outras em bom português.

    Obrigada pela postagem.
    Bom fim de semana para si também.

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  5. Faremos um sururu sim Amélia. Professor lembrei-me logo da Ana Fernandes, a angolana que nos escrevia de Londres. Tem a Zenaida que também começou em Inglês.
    Amélia eu acho que estas num dilema complicado. Gregos e troianos não caberão no teu Maputo-Oslo. Por um lado tem que ser Internacional com o Inglês mas assim muito "de casa" ficam de fora. Que pena!
    O remédio para esse milando seria um blog bilingue mas a experiência me manda dizer que fica um trabalhão danado. Talves se fosses uma "blogger" de full time oque com certeza não és. A vida tem outros gomos e o blog representa apenas um deles. Bem enquanto isso não se resolve aqueles que como eu tem um pouquinho de Inglês cá em casa vão curtindo o teu cantinho.
    A historia do "cota" foi sinistra . Velho depravado. Send him back to his Africa if he does not fit in there.
    Bom fim de semana pa ti. Se te sobrar tempo de um pulo ao meu mundo e leia a ultima carta que escrevi para a Mariazinha.

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  6. Vê, Melita? O Nelson tb gostaria de ver aqui nem que seja um pouco de português...Mas compreendo-a, fará aquilo que puder.

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  7. Haja paz, amor e compreensão, seja qual for o idioma... Talvez deva depor as armas agora mesmo e partir para a música, que é o que sei fazer! ;)
    É brincando, claro! Escreverei mais em português, prometo!

    Nelson, o velho vive na Africa do Sul, havia sido convidado para um festival, como um bava, um músico com muita experiencia e sabedoria!

    Obrigada pelo convite, darei um salto ao seu blog.

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